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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

I didn’t even know I was expecting and now I am the proud father of a 2 millimeter shard of kidney stone. One minute I didn’t have a care in the world and the next BAM! It hit me. I have never felt pain like that before, it was like I was incorrectly lifting a truck off the ground and while I was busy doing that someone decided to kick me in the groin, every 5 minutes.

My wife was barely able to help me get in the mini van; we were off to the Emergency Room. We have driven to Baltimore from Florida several times and those trips seem like quick jaunts compared to the 20-minute journey to the hospital.

When we finally made it and I was whisked through triage and received my stylish standard issue open back dress and an I.V. of their best fluid. The most pain-relieving thing I could do was pace, even though the nurse kept saying sit down and relax Mr. Price. I resembled Ozzy Osborne shuffling about pleading for drugs, all with my butt hanging out of my spiffy gown. My wife wanted to help but there was nothing she could really do.

Pain that bad uses up all your energy, I now understand the mean things that come out of the mouths of a women in labor. I wanted to nicely say, “There is nothing you can do to help”, but oddly enough it came out “You did this to me! You made me eat and drink this diet! I want drugs and I want them now!”

Finally I received my drugs, or as they were referred to in the ER, “the good stuff”. Not long after the pain relief kicked in I remember thinking Dilaudid would be an absolutely beautiful name for a girl if we were ever to have one. After the drugs kicked in they sent me for a Cat Scan, and I asked the nurse if she could show me the cats on the print out. It was good stuff. They said no but they did verify that it was Kidney Stones and sent me home to drink gallons of water and strain my urine. I never had to do anything like that before. The closest thing was when I was young we went on a vacation to North Carolina and we mined for gem stones. This was like that only without the dirt.

I think it passed about halfway through the next day. Later that same day I received a call from a friend who had told his Mom about my ordeal and she said, “Tell Greg to thank his wife for having their baby.” For the record I have thanked her, but then I started thinking, no one asked me if I wanted an Epidural.

Greg has been writing articles online and offline for over 7 years. He has many specialties including humor, parenting, and personal development check out his latest website on My Little Pony party supplies, check out the ideas for a My Little Pony birthday cake while you are there.

When couple, Mike & Laura, meet their classmates on the first day of acting school, Laura finds potential in a new partner, while Mike shows the class that acting can be very real.